The Meadow Annual Literary Arts Journal 2021

168 The Meadow empty trailer. He wondered if his son would have wanted to go to Disneyland. He never understood the kid. He didn’t play sports in real life, just on the computer. When Jim was home, his son’s head would be bent over a book or a phone screen or a video game. There was a time when Jim was proud of how bright Jimmy was, humbly joking with his teachers how glad he was that Jimmy didn’t get his brains from him, but the joke wasn’t funny anymore. Either Jimmy got everything from him, or he got nothing. Jim was leaning toward nothing. He had wanted a second child, but they couldn’t get pregnant. Karen’s body was done having children, and Jim was left wondering if that son would have shown an interest in things Jim was good at. If that unborn son would have wanted to go hunting with Jim, or watch him change the oil in the family car. The families walked back to the cars, buckling kids into their seats, and pulling snacks and drinks from coolers and arranging them on laps and cup holders. Jim waited until they got back onto the highway before he eased his big rig out of the parking lot. When Jimmy was a senior in high school, his last year at home with them, Jim asked him if he wanted to go out on the road with Jim during the summer. He offered to pay him to be there, even though Jimmy wouldn’t really be working, but learning. When this idea had come to him, he’d been so excited he pulled onto a shoulder and phoned Karen to tell her his plan. “You’ll have to ask him.” She put Jimmy on the phone and Jim told him his plan, upping how much he’d originally planned on paying him. “I’ll teach you about driving a big rig, not that you’ll be following in my footsteps, but just for fun.” “I don’t know, Dad.” He was shocked his son hadn’t jumped at the opportunity. “Who wouldn’t want that kind of money just to sit in a semi?”

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