The Meadow Annual Literary Arts Journal 2014

The White Place: A Pantoum by Samantha Kolber The white place claims its same splendor As before the shit filled the sink To its browned capacity of murky water And stained diapers dulling the white ceramic. Before the shit filled the sink I was a whole woman, unfragmented & undisturbed By stained diapers dulling the white ceramic. Now I measure my time in scrubs of dirty laundry. I was a whole woman, unfragmented & undisturbed Before motherhood and the whiter than white myth. Now I measure my time in scrubs of dirty laundry. All day, all of it, with all free clear , I bleach The whiter than white myth out of motherhood, Out of my life and down the drain. All day, all of it, with all free clear I bleach The idealized image of my mother, my mother’s mother, and hers before, Who are out of my life, down the drain. Generations washed out like shit stains on diapers, The idealized image of my mother, my mother’s mother, and hers before Who, like me, knew intimately the shit of her firstborn. Generations washed out like shit stains on diapers In its browned capacity of murky water. Who, like me, knows intimately the shit of her firstborn? In the sink, the white place claims its same splendor. the Meadow 95