ing on his plate but she knew how much he loved to lick his plate clean. “See, I have finished it pata pata,” he would say with a happy smile as he held up his broken plate like a plaque. Knowing all of this, she refused him, smiling wordlessly; she did not trust her mouth to turn down what her shaking head had. With guilty relief, the boy finished up the food, his moldy teeth grazing the sandy plate as he licked it slowly. She had walked out of the mono-roomed hut when her stomach rumbled again. Unfortunately, the meat had run out yesterday. She worried about the bleak chances of finding a stray herb to make food with, let alone another rat. To worsen matters, everything was exorbitantly priced in the market and the little money she had been saving was for something else. Be that as it may, I have to feed the children. The thought of what would happen if she could not provide for them anymore terrified her. She clenched her fists to calm the tremors running through her body. Her overlarge head swayed ritualistically from side to side in an attempt to quiet the uncomfortable thoughts that presented themselves to her. Why do you even bother, a voice at the back of her mind taunted. The little ones will go their own way sooner or later. How long do you think they will continue with this pitiful life that you’re giving them? You see that look Anneki gets when he hasn’t eaten, eh? The voice tried to woo her, You have a chance to do better you know. All of the other women are doing it, many of them younger than you. You know that they say you get used to it after the first time. Unconsciously, she considered the possibility. Maybe it really is worth it, she thought. I can provide more for the children and when I add that money to the one I am saving, maybe I can send Anneki and Amnogu to a proper school. Who knows? Maybe I will even be able to have a few years of rest after that. The last thought rattled the cages of her mind, causing her to deliberate further, somewhat morbidly, That’s probably what they all thought. Some of them do not even know who infected them. She had heard that the men were not using the free condoms offered to them by the Red Cross. “Ah ah how I go take enjoy am if I dey wear that thing? Na you go give me new one if this una rubber chop my tongolo? Una don come with this your oyibo talk,” they argued. To worsen matters, she had grown up with most of the girls who were now dying of the disease. No, I cannot do this! At this, the voice returned, furious, unrelenting, Well suit yourself eh, suit yourself. One day, the boy will be chased back here and his head will be bashed into the ground until it shatters. Hunger will teach him to steal but not how to avoid getting caught. Even the girl, your precious Amnogu, will do what you cannot do. She will provide for herself. Do you 82 theMeadow
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