The Teenage Couple Who Has Sex in a Slasher Flick by Nathan Graziano What in Hell possessed them to screw in the cabin’s one bunk bed, two friends dead in the tool shed, and another’s severed head left as a centerpiece on the card table littered with beer cans in the living room? They’re surrounded by senseless slaughter, an un-medicated psychopath in a hockey mask prowling the campground like a condom vendor, waiting for the first hint of a bare breast or pot smoke to exact his pointless wrath. Still, the teenage couple can’t fight the need to shed their tank tops and cut-off denim shorts and wind their lithe bodies in sweaty coitus. Of course, the second she straddles his lap, he’s impaled—a human kebob—by a fishing spear jammed through the mattress on the top bunk. The killer hops down and grabs the girl, naked with blood on her boobs, screaming until the nut in a hockey mask snaps her neck and tosses her to the cabin floor before searching for more teenagers dumb enough to dare to get laid on Crystal Lake, where the sign clearly reads: Keep out . 50 theMeadow
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